It Girl Q+A

My best friend of 10 years is friends with my bullies. She doesn’t bully me but when I tell her that the girls she’s hanging out with do, she just rolls her eyes at me. She’s the only friend I have, what should I do?

Someone who laughs at your expense is not a friend. Genuine friendships are about wanting the best for each other. They support you when you’re together, and defend you behind your back. They don’t befriend the enemy behind your back.

If you understand human nature and psychology, people tend to hang out with others who share similarities, and have things in common. Does that mean this “best friend” also enjoys bullying people? Or does this “best friend” just shares the common interest of wanting to bully you?

If that is the case, is that someone that YOU want to be friends with? Does that align with YOUR values?

Many of us misinterpret the idea of loyalty. We put too much importance on the idea of how long we’ve known someone, and too little importance on the value they bring into the friendship. As a result, we guilt ourselves into staying friends with someone because we’ve “known them for so long” but the fact of the matter is, people are always changing.

If you’re here reading this, I know you’re someone who is constantly leveling up. It’s natural for people to develop into people with different interests and values and naturally grow apart. Rather than being sad, be thankful that this person showed you her true colors.

Before you are friends with anyone, you need to be your own friend first. When you enjoy spending time with yourself, you will realize how much more peaceful it is to be by yourself than to be in bad company. Choose distance over disrespect.

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It Girl Lesson

Dating the wrong guy will make you ugly

Shera once said that her skincare routine was having her bills paid for. Her lack of financial stress is what makes her skin glow. There is some truth to that…

Mental thoughts and emotional stress can manifest physically. Just like how men can lose hair from work stress, women experience similar symptoms from “boy stress.”

Personally, I’ve had my worst skin breakouts when I was seeing someone that was not right for me. His lack of consistency always stressed me out and had me questioning my worth. On the flip side, during my last relationship when I was with someone who treated me like a princess and gave me all the reassurance I needed through his actions and consistency, I found that my skin was the best it’s ever been.

There was this post from a guy who jokingly shared a before and after photo of his wife now, who he mentioned is seemingly less attractive in comparison to before, when he was first pursuing her. Someone in the comment said that the before was a reflection of how well her dad treated her, and the after was a reflection of probably how poorly the husband treats her now. Rather than blaming the wife, the man needs to take accountability because how a women looks and behaves is often reflective on how her man treats her.

That is why choosing a partner that treats you well and is actually good for you, is so important. There is so much more in choosing a partner, outside of just physical attraction. 

It Girl Essentials

Have you ever heard stories from other women telling you how their body gave them signs when they are with the wrong person or started a new job that just didn’t feel right? This book provided so much clarity how different symptoms in different body parts can correlate to different emotional and mental needs.

You Can Heal Your Life was a book that gave me a new perspective on the importance of feeling worthy. Negative thoughts and beliefs, whether it originated from your own thoughts or influenced by others, can manifest into physical symptoms.

As previously mentioned, I struggled with breaking out in previous relationships that weren’t good for me. The book allowed me to understand that acne was a symptom of pent up anger and frustration. This allowed me to do the inner work to pin point what certain behaviors that made me upset, so that moving forward, I could navigate not only relationships, but also friendships, more self aware.

By no means does this book replaced professional medical advice, but it provides spiritual clarity to some unanswered questions or seemingly weird patterns you may have noticed, like me.

I’m currently testing out this new format with our newsletter, where we have a Q+A to provide some advice on something you’re dealing with, and share other insight and tools on how to navigate your It Girl Era. I feel like this format is much more interactive, and can be more helpful for you.

I hope you enjoy this new layout, and in the meantime stay hot!

xoxo,

It Girl Playbook 💋