What if the person that is toxic for me is my parent?

Hi girlie,

I recently received a DM from someone who asked what to do if the toxic person in her life is... her dad.

I have to say, that is hard. We can choose who we are friends with, we can choose who we end up in a relationship with, but we cannot choose our parents.

Presuming that your parents are loving and are doing what they can, yes, you should be grateful and give them respect. Mistakes are inevitable; it's their first time being parents too. Mutual understanding is a must. 

However, this is not the case for neglectful and abusive parenting. Toxic and even abusive parenting is, unfortunately, a real thing. For those who are currently in that situation, I just want you to know that you don’t deserve any of it. There are some people who are not meant to be parents.

Just because someone is blood-related doesn’t give them a free pass to treat you poorly. Many people will try to overplay the “family card,” telling you that it’s okay because she’s your mom, and that you should just let it slide because he’s your father.

If anything, family should especially be the ones that treat you better than everyone else. If giving birth is the only leverage they have to manipulate you, understand that you do not owe them your entire life. You did not ask to be born. 

If you can, get away and create your own peace. If not, draw your boundaries and distance yourself while working on an exit plan. Your purpose on this earth is not to be used and abused. It’s much more than that, I promise.

Talk soon,

It Girl Playbook 💋

P.S. if you need advice on anything, feel free to make a request via this form and I’ll answer it in the following newsletters (anonymously ofc). Remember, the more context provide, the easier for me to give advice.