It Girl Q+A

I liked a guy but he played with my feelings. I still cannot stop thinking about him, how can I stop?

Girl. 👁️ 👄 👁️

Find out why you’re thinking about him is a great start to better understand the situation. Are you still thinking about him because you still like him, or are you still thinking about him because you feel dumb for getting played?

It’s possible you’re upset because you feel like you did so much, invested so much, but he didn’t reciprocate. You feel like you got the short end of the stick. If that is the case, you’re not thinking about him because you still have good feelings for him. Rather, you’re upset for feeling like you got played. That’s understandable.

If you feel like you got played, there is a chance you may be replaying conversations where you feel like you could’ve said something smarter and situations where you feel like you should’ve done something better. I’ve been there before also.

However, what this may lead to, is you starting to question yourself and your own worth. Feeling upset for having your time and effort wasted is understandable, but allowing that to question your own worth…that is the stupidest thing you can do. Just because someone else doesn’t value you, does not mean you don’t value yourself either.

Accept the situation as it is: you liked him, he doesn’t or not in the way you want. Learn from this experience, so that you become wiser as a result.

You cannot change what has already happened. If you feel like he wasted your time, then it is what it is. Don’t let him waste even more time by still letting him continue living on your mind rent free. Focus that time and energy into leveling up and pouring into yourself instead.

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It Girl Lesson

He’s not hard to get, you’re hard to get rid of.

While you’re thinking he’s playing hard to get, he’s probably thinking you’re hard to get rid of. As you continue to chase him, do more and be more for him, not only is he not going to be appreciative, he’s going to think wow..why is she being so desperate? Am I really that good? Maybe I’m too good..too good for her. And then he goes to be with someone who puts him through hurdles to earn her.

Women in my opinion, should never be in a position to chase a man. “He is playing hard to get” should never even be a sentence a woman should say. 

Just like the egg never swims to the sperm, you never chase a man. As Shera once said, if a man wants to be chased...call the police.

If he cannot see your value, doesn’t want to pursue, and doesn’t want to be with you, have enough self respect to remove yourself from the situation. This is one of those situations where your self respect needs to be stronger than your feelings.

You are the prize, and you deserve to be with someone who wants to pursue you and be with you.

It Girl Essentials

If you’re finding yourself easily obsessing over a guy, getting attached quickly, constantly needing reassurance, and feeling anxious when he doesn’t give you enough attention- you may want have an anxious attachment style.

Our attachment styles are developed from our childhood upbringing and experiences. These attachment styles play a major role in our expectations and needs as adults navigating relationships.

If you have an anxious attachment style, and you constantly seek reassurance, but you’re with someone with an avoidant attachment style, who craves independence…that is a relationship that is destined to run into roadblocks.

Learning about your attachment styles, and better understanding that aspect of you, can allow you to better navigate relationships. One of the best books I read on this, is Attached.

I too have an attachment style that wasn’t secure, and so this book provided a lot of clarity for not only myself, but also painted a better picture of what I’d want my future partner to look like.

It Girl Playbook Updates

The Playbook Mini is currently out. It’s a compiled list of our beloved and most popular series: It Girl Lessons from It Girls.

Pay what you want, so grab a copy now! 

I put a lot of work into it, so I’d really appreciate a review if you like it. It’ll be super helpful for a bigger project I’m working on for you.

xoxo,

It Girl Playbook 💋